What ever happened to dating someone your own age?

Wow. Guess He'll Be Keeping The Dentures in Tonight.

Cougars, MILFs, Sugar Daddies, Demi and Ashton, Woody Allen and Soon Yi, Fred Thompson and Jeri Kehn, Madonna and…whoever. Is dating or marrying someone way younger or older happening more these days because no one looks their actual age-with their dyed hair, boob implants, botox, lipo and face lifts? Or is it about financial security?

My parents were both around the same age, and so were my grandparents and their parents. Now a ten-to–fifteen year difference between partners is common, and a twenty-to-thirty-year gap barely raises an eyebrow, especially when the much older guy owns a Bentley.

One well-known titan of business is more than forty-five years older than his wife! That means she was being pushed out of her mommy around the same time he was getting ready to have his first heart attack. What could they possibly have to talk about? They have absolutely no cultural references in common. She doesn’t know any Beatles songs and he has no idea who Justin Timberlake is. At eighty-something he may not even be fully aware who he is. And the sex has got to be just…unwatchable!

I cannot for a minute picture my grandfather, his pants pulled up to just under his armpits, with anyone other than my grandmother … let alone a thirty-year-old hottie forced to spend her day loudly discussing his pocket knife collection and his circulation problems.

She probably has to watch him clear his throat into his handkerchief, cut his food into tiny, bite-size pieces and watch him eat dinner till he nods off sitting up at the table, then wake him up around 7 p.m. so she can help him upstairs to bed. I’m guessing it’s a bit more exciting at Woody Allen’s place…but maybe not.