I have a personal list of things I would never order online. I would never order a hairpiece, blood plasma, a Russian bride, teeth, any kind of prosthetic device, a rodent, a used mattress, anything Wiccan, skeletons, shrunken heads, serial killer art, anything made from an animals private parts, a tank, uranium, animal urine, a casket, most implants and now… anything that will make me hard down below.

Online Pharmacies Scare Me...

The reason? Just read an article about how the BBC did an investigation and found that some erectile dysfunction medications sold on the internet contained things like printer ink and road paint to give them their pretty color!

Terrific. You go to the internet to buy pills to help get you aroused and instead your little buddy is still soft but you’re nauseous and peeing blue like a Smurf.

There are so many medications sold online that are illegal and counterfeit that when you put them in your mouth and swallow you can’t be quite sure exactly what’s going to happen. You could get harder or bigger or stronger or vomit or pass out or bleed from your ears or end up wandering naked and crying down your street.

I guess the Russian roulette element of not knowing for sure what you’re taking could be exciting for some people. But for me, I like to know that my vitamin pill is actually filled with vitamins, my Tylenol is actually going to get rid of my headache and that any type of treatment for problems down below is prescribed by a doctor. Preferably one who has a real medical license hanging on his wall … and not one that he was able to order online!