Do you and your mate have a euphemism for suggesting sex? Of course you do. Everyone does. In the New York Times Wedding Section I read that a recently married couple used the phrase, “Let’s go upstairs and watch college basketball.”

I don’t know your phrase, but usually it’s something you can say in front of other people, the kids or even just to each other that conveys affection and a willingness to mate without being too crude or too overt. Well, last Saturday my wife let me know that both kids would be sleeping out for the night and she suggested that maybe we could go catch a movie and then, “hang out.” I immediately assumed that by “hanging out” she was suggesting…ensuring… that we were going to be naked together at some point later that evening because “let’s hang out” was our sex phrase.

So around 5:30 I made myself hygienically sound, took my wife to dinner, a movie and then back home where I waited in bed, locked and loaded. To my utter dismay, my wife crawled into bed, gave me a sisterly kiss on the cheek, informed me that she was exhausted…and went to sleep.

No way!

You don’t use our phrase without following through! I’m not sure women understand that even the slightest suggestion of intimacy…a look, a smile, THE PHRASE, starts the launch sequence in guys. I sulked for days because like most men, I’m not very communicative about my sexual wants and needs.

Finally, my wife got the hint and late Thursday afternoon we ended up “hanging out.” After we cuddled for a bit I asked her why the other day she suggested “hanging out” without following through and to my surprise she informed me that, to her, hanging out just meant… hanging out.

What? Didn’t she realize that was our code? Was she being coy? No, she swore that she was simply unaware that I had somehow designated that as our sex phrase and promised that in the future she’d be more discerning when she used it. Well at least now it was official. The next time my wife says, “Let’s hang out,” we’d definitely, positively end up having sex. Boy, I hope she remembers. Maybe I should send her an email.