I house sat for a friend, Ryan who has a dog, a big dog, a Great Pyrenees. He doesn’t smell too good, (the dog) and when he goes to the bathroom … you have to pick up something the size of a VW Beetle.
Dalmatians; Surprisingly Kinky
But that wasn’t the worst part of house-sitting. My wife and I felt like we were on vacation staying at my friend’s house so around 11:30 we got frisky. We slipped into my buddy’s king size bed and started to … nothing!
The dog sat there looking at us, and I couldn’t perform. He’s the size of an armoire for God’s sake! He didn’t just watch…he stared! And when I tried to grab his collar to take him out of the room, he growled like only a 200 pound dog can.
So we canceled our romance plans and went to sleep. Actually my wife went to sleep; I couldn’t sleep because the damn dog kept staring at me. I think he was daring me to try and have sex again.
I wonder what my friend Ryan does with the dog when he’s having sex? It’s got to bother him. Nothing should be staring at you during sex. Not dogs, not a parrot, not a peeping Tom, not a painting, not even your partner. It’s creepy! And a real “pet peeve” for me.
Okay…I’m living a very sheltered life.
Cuckold Husbands: Evidently They Like to Watch
My wife and I are out with another couple last Saturday night, (we saw the movie, “I Love You Man”. It was a bit slow and disappointing) and they started talking about Cuckolding. WHAT?
It’s always a bit strange to find out something exists that other people know about that you’ve never heard of. Ever eat Pickled Snakehead Fish or take a Scottish Deerhound for a walk? Neither have I. And I’ve never been involved in a relationship that involved cuckoldry.
Cuckold: What a weird word! The term “cuckold” is used to describe a male whose wife takes other partners … and she’s known as a cuckquean. Cuckold is an old English word, used interchangeably back in medieval times with the word wittol.
Apparently there is a fetish for this stuff and it involves a guy whose female partner has “happy time” with another guy in order to make guy number one feel inadequate while turning him on. And she’s turning him on not through any kind of sexual activity or touching, no…she’s turning him on by letting him find pleasure through her enjoyment…with guy number two.
Confused? Oh yeah. That logic is like my wife eating apple pie with vanilla ice cream and asking me how I liked it. How do cuckold enthusiasts even find each other in the first place? What does their profile look like on a dating site? Maybe something like this:
Thirty-four year old white male. 5’10”, average build. I’m an accountant who likes chess, archery, Guitar Hero, kayaking and being humiliated while watching someone I love hook up with a complete stranger or a neighbor or the pool man or anyone but me.
You learn something new every week. Sometimes you’re sorry you do!
