The other day I was right in the middle of having sex with my wife … actually I was probably a bit closer to the end but didn’t know it … when I started thinking to myself, “Exactly how long should sex last?”

Not my wife... (But not bad)

Should it last porn movie length — which seems like around 20-25 minutes with anywhere from five to twenty different positions … costumes, accessories and guests?  Or should it be closer to the three minute mark that my neighbors the Carlsons usually hit, judging from the short burst of amorous yelping we’re subjected to because their bedroom sits just across the driveway from ours?

So is there a correct time, an absolutely perfect length of time that sex should last?  Where everyone involved ends up happy and satisfied?  And how do you account for leg cramps, important text messages and pet invasions, or even the prevalence of ADD in society today which can cause participants to be easily distracted and lose interest in the sex act if not properly medicated?

Really … what is that right amount of time?

I know my wife likes sex a lot, but probably just a little bit less than me, so she’s generally happy with a little bit of foreplay, a couple minutes of hearty sex, quick orgasm, and then C.S.I. Miami on Tivo. Total running time for her?  I’m estimating just under ten minutes and she’s a happy camper. For me, I like to go a little longer but at about the ten minute mark I can kinda tell she’s already thinking about David Caruso…So that distracts me a bit, but just a bit, and I persevere for another two or three minutes just to make a point.

So let’s see, if you total that up…my time would be around thirteen minutes, which I guess I’m fine with unless of course I find out that everyone else is going a whole lot longer than me and that’s the norm.

What about you?