I recently had a discussion with my friend Kenny about who’s hotter — Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston? On the surface it would seem that Jolie should win hands down.

Hotness and kids: How many are too many?

Jolie has those exotic, almost alien-like, good looks. Then there’s her swollen lips, big breasts, and her very sexually-experimental vibe.  But then you factor in that she adopts a kid from every country she visits, plus has a couple of her own, and wants to have more … and may end up with 10 or 12! And, not to be too picky… but her legs are a little too skinny, even in heels, and we’ve never really seen her laugh or even smile. That’s creepy.

Now Jennifer…she’s got those clean-scrubbed, girl-next-door good looks, a great body and what appear to be natural breasts.  She’s also got a great smile, and I’m guessing she wants to settle down and maybe have at the most two kids. She also must be pretty handy in bed because her boyfriend, rock star John Mayer, could bag anybody he wants and probably has… but he came back to Jen!

I think Brad Pitt would have eventually come back too, but before he knew it he found himself sucked into becoming dad to a brood of six!  If he leaves the humanitarian Ms. Jolie right now, then America would hate him.  It would be like walking out on Mother Theresa.

So who’s hotter? I vote Jennifer because she’s pretty and lower maintenance than Angie.

Kenny says Angelina because she looks dangerous — like she’d tie you up in bed and do things to you that you never imagined. Yeah Kenny… She’d probably leave you there, handcuffed, while she flies off and adopts a couple more kids.

Next up: Jessica Alba or Natalie Portman?

The other day I was right in the middle of having sex with my wife … actually I was probably a bit closer to the end but didn’t know it … when I started thinking to myself, “Exactly how long should sex last?”

Not my wife... (But not bad)

Should it last porn movie length — which seems like around 20-25 minutes with anywhere from five to twenty different positions … costumes, accessories and guests?  Or should it be closer to the three minute mark that my neighbors the Carlsons usually hit, judging from the short burst of amorous yelping we’re subjected to because their bedroom sits just across the driveway from ours?

So is there a correct time, an absolutely perfect length of time that sex should last?  Where everyone involved ends up happy and satisfied?  And how do you account for leg cramps, important text messages and pet invasions, or even the prevalence of ADD in society today which can cause participants to be easily distracted and lose interest in the sex act if not properly medicated?

Really … what is that right amount of time?

I know my wife likes sex a lot, but probably just a little bit less than me, so she’s generally happy with a little bit of foreplay, a couple minutes of hearty sex, quick orgasm, and then C.S.I. Miami on Tivo. Total running time for her?  I’m estimating just under ten minutes and she’s a happy camper. For me, I like to go a little longer but at about the ten minute mark I can kinda tell she’s already thinking about David Caruso…So that distracts me a bit, but just a bit, and I persevere for another two or three minutes just to make a point.

So let’s see, if you total that up…my time would be around thirteen minutes, which I guess I’m fine with unless of course I find out that everyone else is going a whole lot longer than me and that’s the norm.

What about you?